Forty real Trump lines, already doing most of the parody work for us.

“Maybe I’d run for president. I don’t know.”

“I don't do it for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. Deals are my art form.”

“If you're going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big.”

“You can't con people, at least not for long.”

“You can't be scared. You do your thing, you hold your ground, you stand up tall, and whatever happens, happens.”

“I surround myself with the best people. I know the best people.”

“Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.”

“I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”

“My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”

“Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest — and you all know it!”

“I do whine because I want to win and I’m not happy about not winning.”

“I know words. I have the best words.”

“I think apologizing's a great thing, but you have to be wrong.”

“I went to the Wharton School of Business. I'm, like, a really smart person.”

“I know more about ISIS than the generals do.”

“Nobody builds walls better than me, believe me.”

“I cherish women. I want to help women.”

“Nobody has more respect for women than I do.”

“Nobody reads the Bible more than me.”

“I think I am actually humble. I think I'm much more humble than you would understand.”

“We won with poorly educated. I love the poorly educated.”

“Who knows. You'll have to ask your psychiatrist.”

“Look at those hands. Are they small hands?”

“I guarantee there's no problem.”

“They won't refuse me, believe me.”

“Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it.”

“I'm the king of debt. I'm great with debt.”

“My primary consultant is myself and I have a good instinct for this stuff.”

“I have a very good brain.”

“I've never withdrawn in my life.”

“Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.”

“We have the smartest people. We have the smartest people.”

“The meeting with the president of the Virgin Islands. These are the people of the Virgin Islands, they love their president.”

“I am the chosen one.”

“It’ll start getting cooler. You just watch.”

“The vote counter is often more important than the candidate.”

“You know, I do the weave. ... They say, ‘He rambled.’”

“I know more about courts than any human being on Earth.”

“Everything's computer!”

“Maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls.”